Issue #83 ·
Why Suppressing Emotions Hurts Your Health
😡 Finding space to express difficult emotions, the power of taking your time with habits, fish diets and longevity, & diet and mental health
Hello friends,
We often hesitate to express emotions, fearing they might hurt others or disrupt harmony in our relationships.
I know I've been guilty of this many times, swallowing my feelings to keep the peace.
But these emotions are inevitable, and will surface despite our attempts to suppress them. The key is to learn to deal with these feelings effectively.
In my own journey, I've experienced how ignoring or suppressing emotions can lead to stress, burnout, and even physical health issues.
Acknowledging and managing our emotional spectrum can enhance well-being, and improve relationships.
This week in building health 👇
Find a safe place for difficult emotions.
The example in today’s article is a dramatic one.
It takes place on a pleasant Saturday afternoon in Bali, and you're in a Hindu Tantra workshop.
You're doing standing hip thrusts and yelling "FUCK YOU!" at a stranger, who is doing the same to you.
Thirty other people are doing the same exercise. It's a unique attempt to tap into your raw emotions.
This exercise aims to embody your shadow emotions: the dangerous, dominating, and violent feelings we often suppress.
These are feelings like shame, anger, disgust, and grief, often deemed unacceptable, pushed away, and hidden within us.
Why We Suppress “bad” Emotions
Lately, as I watch my one-year-old daughter navigate her emotions, I've been thinking a lot about this.
She feels everything so intensely, and it's beautiful to witness.
But I've noticed how some people react strongly to her emotional outbursts, sometimes with discomfort or disapproval.
Did your emotional state make your caregivers withdraw, yell, or distract you?
Lesson learned: some feelings aren't welcome.
I picture myself as a young child, wanting to scream in frustration but knowing it wouldn't be wise.
So I clamped down on the urge, like many of us do. We resist these emotions over a lifetime, making them difficult to deal with when they arise.
We're not taught how to summon and explore these feelings safely. The skills are lacking.
I see it in myself, and in the workshop participants who wanted to retreat to laughter, avoiding the intensity of these shadow feelings.
I'm reminded that there's nothing wrong with emotion while watching my daughter. It's a natural, beautiful part of being human.
Maybe we adults have something to learn from her uninhibited expression.
Where’s your “Tantra” Workshop?
I’ve never done “Tantra” but I know it’s important to have places where you can express freely.
Therapy has been a game-changer for me. It's a judgment-free zone where I can explore my feelings, even the ones I've long tried to suppress.
But it's not just about professional help.
I value my relationships with trusted people. I've built strong emotional connections with a few close friends who create a safe space for my raw feelings. In their presence, I can be vulnerable without fear of judgment or rejection.
Safe spaces have taught me the importance of embracing my emotional landscape – whether it's a therapist's office or a heart-to-heart with a trusted friend.
By embracing and expressing all my emotions, I'm not just dealing with the negative; I'm also enhancing my capacity to experience joy, love, and other positive feelings more deeply.
By the way, this will impact your physical health
We underestimate the connection between emotional and physical health. I can attest to the physical consequences of emotional suppression as someone who's experienced this firsthand.
When stressed, my lower back pain flares up. It's a stark reminder that our bodies keep the score of our emotional state.
This isn't unique. Research shows that suppressing emotions can cause physical health issues:
Chronic stress
Weakened immune system
Digestive issues
Sleep disturbances
Increased risk of heart disease
By embracing and processing all our emotions, we're tending to our mental health and improving our physical well-being.
As we wrap up this week's newsletter, I encourage you to reflect on your relationship with your emotions. Do you avoid or suppress certain feelings? How might embracing these emotions impact your life and physical health?
The goal isn't to be happy all the time – that's neither realistic nor desirable. Instead, aim to fully experience and integrate all emotions for a richer, more authentic life. By doing so, you're not just becoming physically fit, but fit for life's complexity and beauty.
How has embracing difficult emotions impacted your life and health?
Have you noticed physical changes when you allow yourself to feel and process your emotions?
My favorite health things for the week
// one
Slow Habits
9 minutes | Nat Eliason
How long do you stick to a new habit?
I know a lot of things for me are easy come and easy go.
Rapid habit formation often leads to fleeting enthusiasm and eventual disappointment.
This article challenges the traditional '30 days to a new habit' philosophy and advocates for a slower, more natural approach.
It presents examples such as cutting alcohol consumption and establishing a consistent writing routine. This shows how a slower pace can lead to more lasting habits.
// two
A Diet Study on Fish and Mortality from Japan
11 minutes | Cambridge University Press
A study based on Japanese data shows that eating small fish is linked to lower all-cause and cancer mortality, especially in women.
The research highlights how nutrient-rich fish can impact health outcomes when consumed whole.
// three
Poor quality diet makes our brains sad
13 minutes | University of Reading
Another bit of research on food and mental health.
While this study is nothing too groundbreaking, it’s another reminder that your brain and your body are connected.
This research shows that a poor diet with high sugar and saturated fats can lead to brain changes linked to depression and anxiety.
A healthy diet is essential for a healthy mind.
Until next time
Have a Healthy Weekend